The last one of the year.

2008 Highlights:

• Getting accepted to grad school (cause I had NO idea what I was in for!!!)
• Trip to Holden Beach with the fam
• Meeting new friends; keeping old ones
• Finding out I'm getting another niece- yay!
• The iPod Nano I got for Christmas and its docking station. I am soooo technologically advanced!
• TWILIGHT!
  

2008 Lowlights:

• Gym theft!!
• Hmmm... I can't think of many others

All things considered, it's been an action-packed year and here's to life, love and liberty in 2009.

Please enjoy the following hilarious videos from TheOnion.Com


'Warcraft' Sequel Lets Gamers Play A Character Playing 'Warcraft'


Report: Many U.S. Parents Outsourcing Child Care Overseas


In The Know: Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole?

The Secret Diaries of Cats and Dogs

I know you've probably gotten this in your email at least 4 times, but it really is funny every time you read it...


Excerpts from a Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary

Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good litt le hunter' I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...

Tacky and Fabulous.

Some people know what the Christmas Spirit is all about!

Schizophrenia Lite. Only half the calories of real schizophrenia.

My brain is a happy, broken place that can only come about via months of a constant barrage of stuff! The other girls and I are kinda like this right about now (read: brief psychotic episode):


Did you know that there is an actual DSM disorder called "mal de ojo." Yep - the "evil eye" as it were. Here's an excerpt: "Children are especially at risk. Symptoms include fitful sleep, crying without apparent cause, diarrhea and vomiting." I'm sure this is nowhere near as amusing to you as it is to me, but I wanted to share, nevertheless.

I wonder how many points I'd get for spelling nevertheless on Pathwords...

Don't be too concerned. It will all be over on Thursday. Well, for this semester. What's on the agenda? Glad you asked. I'm hoping to re-learn this whole sleep thing. I plan on doing a lot of nothing. A massage will definitely figure in somewhere. Spend time with the fam and the niece I've neglected frequently over the last 4 months. And those other people... what are they... oh yeah. Friends! Yay, friend time! Wow, that's a loaded 3.5 weeks. Better get going on it.

Hey, did you know it's apparently Christmas time too? Who scheduled all this anyway? Can't wait for some Grandma Wike cooking. Oh, speaking of Grandma, she wished me well: she's concerned that I won't graduate "before we get bombed again." That Grandma. She's a fiesty one!

Here's a recap of my finer achievements this semester:

• When discussing my IQ examinees to the class, I referred to them as "testees." Nice. My professor loved that one.
  
• I'm currently vying for Best Actress in a Simulated Therapy Session as I managed to squeak out real tears playing a woman who had recently lost her husband to suicide (no Visine for this chick). I got a round of applause for my talents. Also on the ballot is Stephanie who rocked a girl with dissociative disorder.
  
• I found a new favorite aerobic exercise: Cardio Strip. Relax. It's like Zumba, but closer (offered on campus) and it's named as such to appeal to, well, the whorish college girls. But it's a great workout and they play great music.
• I got Direct TV. Holla.
• I saw Twilight 3 times and fell irrevocably in love with the undead. If you aren't in love with the undead, you have not seen Twilight.

That about wraps it up, kids. 16 weeks, gone in a flash and yet the longest 16 weeks of my life, all at that same time. Hey, if I thought those went fast, wait until the 3 week break....

Attack of the Killer Potato

Now, I have been known to eat most any kind of potato in most anything. But I don't believe I'd touch this particular potato with a 39.5 foot pole. It just looks like it should have teeth or something.

Dang that's a big potato