Great comedy needs no introduction.

"You sing... she swoon."

I swoon for John Mayer.

Hell is frozen.

.... Gotta say I'm with McCain on this one (I know).

I respect Sarah Palin as a woman; she's got a lot of fight in her. Any woman politician does and I admire that. However, a few weeks in and I'm just like, SHUT UP! I just wish out of the two diametrically opposed women that have graced the headlines of this election, I would actually like one in a political sense.

Palin Breaks with McCain on Gay Marriage

Dear Lord, why would you eat this????

I really just don't have anything to say about the following recipe.

SPAM AND VELVEETA CASSEROLE

* 1 can Spam, cubed
* 16 oz. Velveeta, cubed
* 1 can Cream of Mushroom Soup
* 1 can Cream of Celery Soup
* 2 cans milk
* 16 oz. frozen mixed veggies
* 3 cups minute rice
* 2 Tbsp. Soy sauce
* Crushed potato chips
* Cooking spray

Leveling.

I'm busier lately than I ever thought humanly possible. But I wanted to take a minute to thank everyone that so graciously and lovingly tries to support me in every way possible (Mom especially).

I don't think that if I had gotten into what I got into, without an emotional connection to it, that I'd be able to keep going. I know that sounds a little too sappy to be coming from my mouth (fingers) but it's true. I've never known anything in life to be as hard as what I'm going through right now.

So if I'm short or distant or just plain absent in your life, please don't take it in anyway other than it's what has to be right now. A program that has a 95% rejection rate is going to be tough - accept it or leave. And it's going to take a while - accept it or leave. So on a weekly basis, I tell myself to accept it - don't leave. A large part of what keeps me going is knowing the absolute foundation of friends and family that I know are backing me all the way.

I love you all more than I ever tell you.

Haikus.

Found some old haikus that I wrote from a while back, thought I would share. I think poetry is lame, but a good haiku says it all and succinctly to boot (no one likes your book of poetry, sorry).

On Sophie:

Adorable curls

Sophia the Beautiful

Face of an angel

On Jasmine (the dog that I adopted but fell in love with my parents' house and weenie dog so now she lives there):

Furry and cuddly

My dog with the tiny face

Life is her buffet

The following are some I wrote in honor of Vania's cat, Pud. I wrote the following through his eyes. If you've never met Pud, then these will be lost on you:

On Sophie:

White perilous foe

A worthy adversary

Death has chubby legs

Once a peaceful life

Then came hairless stray. Now,

perpetual fright

On Owners:

Nuggets on my back.

The owners ignore. Oh well,

time to puke again

Milk caps, ink pens, Friend

What more could a cat want? YAY!

A game of Fingers.

On Life:

Stately I parade

Gracing people with a glimpse

Now, look at my butt

Yay!!!

A nefarious government plot.

Bailout becomes buy-in as feds move into banking

"Big banks started falling in line Tuesday behind a rejiggered bailout plan that will have the government forking over as much as $250 billion in exchange for partial ownership..."

If you're not disturbed by this, you're NOT paying attention. Socialization of BANKS. Where's the Tylenol?

The World's Shortest Fairy Tale.

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, "Will you marry me?" The girl said, "NO!" And the girl lived happily ever after and had intelligent conversations with her friends instead of having to feign interest in ice fishing and car engines, spent money on lavish, spectacular vacations and none on shotgun shells or fishing bait, got to go home and read after a movie date instead of having to listen to some half-educated ape give his malformed opinion on the plot, had nights of dancing and cocktail parties with nobody to apologize to because there was only cheese and crackers for supper.

The End

We got stoned.

Yesterday Sarah and I went to Zen Massage for a hot stone massage treatment. It was the most tranquil thing I've ever experienced. I've had many Swedish and deep tissue massages in my day (well I wouldn't equate deep tissue massage with relaxation... it's actually slightly torturous, but in a good way) but nothing, NOTHING has ever put me in a state like this did.

My mind was blank, my body was jello and I couldn't help but keep falling asleep.

So men... you want some SERIOUS brownie points??? Give your lady a gift certificate for a hot stone. When she recovers from her comatose state, she'll thank you!

Hole. Lee. Crap.

Herpes linked to brain cancer

Isn't it crazy how many viruses they're starting to link to cancer?

http://current.com/items/89377424_herpes_linked_to_brain_cancer

ARRRGH!!!!!!!!!

Let me highlight some quotes from this news video.

"She thought he was kinda cute..."

"You know he's gonna come back because they dig holes ... he must be making room for his friends."

"I'm scared to death to sit on my toilet."

Rat Crawls Up Through Woman's Toilet

Direct TV = Sensory Overload.

On Christmas Day, my niece withstands many sessions of gift opening which culminate at my Grandma's house where she reaches critical mass. Too many gifts, too much excitement, can't handle it.

That's how Direct TV is making me feel. Too many channels, too many choices, can't handle it. Had to turn it off!! Ack.

An interesting observation.

The DSM-IV defines sex as: "a person's biological status as male, female or uncertain."

Uncertain... betcha most people aren't aware that's possible but I learned in one of my biology classes that it's much more common than you think. What implications does this have for our assumptions about gender roles, determinations, sexuality, etc...

Discuss.

If only for the flair, you need to join Facebook.

My loving and supportive big sister sent me this one.

Sigh. It's true. Truly I have the dumb.